I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
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she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize