At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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