i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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