i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
