I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked my hip out of place.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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