I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
