Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
