Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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