Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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