He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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