Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
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Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
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I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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