She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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