sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
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