Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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