Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
