so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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