They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
