I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
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