i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize