i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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