dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
