Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
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