hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
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He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
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Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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