you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
