I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
