i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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