Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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