i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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