do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
