was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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