i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
