i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
