i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
ugly people sure do ruin things
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
