I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
