New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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