Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
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