i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
