I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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