Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
