? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
