He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
