Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I just threw up on my dentist
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize