Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize