I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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