When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
