Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize