dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
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Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
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You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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