Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize