dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
