I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
