You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
There's even glitter on my cock...
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