; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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