I heard we made out
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
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Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
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Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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