Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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