I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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