I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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