I want to have your abortion
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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