all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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