Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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