its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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