I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
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i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
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I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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